Don’t put your thoughts in your pockets
Don’t tell your secrets to yourself
Don’t wrap your heart in cellophane
And hand it off to someone else
You got to let them know right now
That you deserve to have so much more
Walk out the door if it’s closing you in
Don’t look backwards to where you’ve been
Don’t put your thoughts in your pockets
I know it hurts to see them cry
But every tear is another lie
And sometimes pain is just a chain
To keep you tied down to that life
Don’t put your thoughts in your pockets
Don’t tell your secrets to yourself
There’s freedom on the other side
Of even the darkest hell
There’s freedom on the other side
Of even the hottest hell
I'm not a man
I don't want your whiskey meetings
I'm not a woman
Won’t stay home to raise the children
So don't slap me on the back
Don't you try to grab my ass
I'm not yr boy, and I'm not yr girl.
You saw me getting on the elevator
And said you wished I'd been a pretty girl
Take your misogyny camaraderie
And get yourself away from me
Or you'll be sorry for that creepy smile
Sitting next to me on the airplane
Told you to turn your phone off comin’ down
You looked at me and my magazine
Attacked my masculinity
Don't you know that shit don’t work on me?
I thought your love was something to be counted
By quantities of petals on the flowers
Flowers that you give to me and that I give to you
Vases of “I’ve got something to prove”
I’m sorry for the take take take
For never being full and blaming you
I’m thankful that we never had a break
Before we got up to the age of two
The anxiety of love me do, do not
That compels me to take all that you’ve got
And beg for more while you’re walking the floor
Just trying to not untie this knot
I’m sorry for the take take take
For never being full and blaming you
I’m thankful that we never had a break
Before we got up to the age of two
Love I have learned now how to count it
In the truth of your words and your smile
And wherever we go and whomever we go to
We will carry each other carry each other
I’m sorry for the take take take
For never being full and blaming you
I’m so thankful that we didn’t break
Before we could become something new
Love I am counting, love I am counting, now love I am counting on you.
Got a damn good body
I'm a hot potaty
I just might let you
Touch my body
Cuz I bet you've got a
Naughty thoughty
Or two about my hotty body
So what, so what
Have I g-g-got-y
On my super duper b-b-body
Some things you could
choose to use
And some that I could use on you
Every preposition's fine
When your body touches mine
Got a damn good body
I'm a hot potaty
I just might let you
Touch my body
Cuz I bet you've got a
Naughty thoughty
Or two about my hotty body!
about
This is my first record, and I am so proud of it. It was recorded all in less than an hour. It's creaky and rough and real and just very much exactly what I wanted it to be. All of the songs are uncomplicated; all of them have mistakes; all of them are significant to me not just in subject matter but stylistically--puling from the gospel, country, blues, and rock music I grew up with and saying things I never felt I was "allowed" to say before. These four songs mean a lot to me, and I am happy to be able to share them with you.
Track Info:
The Other Side of Hell:
A song that, like the album cover, was inspired by my churchgoing past (the cover is meant to be reminiscent of a church bulletin), and by my dysfunctional upbringing. It's about getting the hell out of bad situations in which you know in your heart you are being manipulated and sold short, whether that be a family or relationship situation, or an organization that just keeps pulling your chains tighter: it's a straightforward melody and a straightforward message. Sometimes you have to break the mold in order to pour your own--the point is to live the questions hard until you get the truth.
Whiskey Meetings:
Although I had made an effort before this to declare my non-binary gender identity in small ways, this is the first time I put it into such plain words. The song focuses on encounters with cultural stereotypes in general and specific experiences in which someone perceived me to be someone I am not, especially during the time in my life when I was most often perceived as a cisgender man. I was actually surprised by some of the things that were said when folks assumed there were no women around, Mad Men-esque sentiments that I may have naively thought went the way of whiskey-soaked business meetings. That new-found level disgust and other various frustrations are what fueled this song. I kept it upbeat because it's supposed to show you just how ridiculous it is to assume that nobody will know you are a hater just because you close a door--so quit being ridiculous and treat EVERYONE like you want to be treated, no matter who you see in front of you.
Something to Prove:
The summer after I got married was full of realizations for me, one of which being the fact that I had been so preoccupied with making ends meet and juggling responsibilities that I had ignored some rather pernicious cycles of thought and unhealthy behaviors. The song is something of a ballad, an attempt at apology written about ten minutes before I recorded it, and only a few months before the relationship it primarily refers to was over. I briefly considered putting this song in a locked vault somewhere, but the truth is I am still thankful for that relationship and what I ultimately did learn--and now when I think about the words, the "love" I am still counting on no longer refers to an individual, but rather to love itself--abundant and unlimited.
DGB:
Probably my favorite song of all, because it was such a risk for me to even admit I had written it, in part because it does not hide its sexuality. But, I refuse to let years of body shame and extremely warped and sex-negative views, heaped up with racist and misogynist notions of who is allowed to do what to whom keep me down. The song itself is silly, it's got the 50s-rock stammering for emphasis, it's got "rhymes" that are just ridiculous. But that is the point of it really--it's not meeting the doom and gloom with a serious and calculated defense, it's being fully present in my own skin and feeling so damn good about it that I have to laugh. Like most body-positive songs, though, it's ultimately not just about me. It's written in first-person on purpose, and it is also intentionally un-specific about size/shape/color/etc.: I want you to get it stuck in your head and walk around singing about how awesome *your* body is, because every body, and I mean everybody deserves to feel awesome about being alive and in a body at all, regardless of what that body does or doesn't do. It's a gift just to take a breath.
On the real real though, CW discussion of consent: Never forget how much your consent is worth. Anyone who does not respect that your body is YOURS and not theirs does not deserve to even look upon your skin, get yourself the hell out of there as soon as you can get out safe--do no unnecessary harm and don't risk your own safety when you can, but defend yourself by any means you need from the hands that can't seem to say "please" and not just "mine." A lot of people in this world will think they own you and that they define your sexual needs, especially if your woman/-ish skin is brown/er than theirs and they are of the cishetero persuasion. Body positivity is not just about liking how your body looks, it's also about owning it and your right to decide what you do with it or have done to it, independent of the judgments of others.
credits
released November 7, 2014
Vocals/Guitar - Lennox Archer
Recording/Mixing - Matt Ostraco
Final Cut - Lennox Archer
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